U2's Bono has emergency surgery
*gasps* Can it be?!
... No. It can't.
As they say, what's too good to be true normally is. Bono is in a stable condition now, and there I was beginning to think that there was a god! Oh well. There's still time for him to prove me right, and as soon as he does I'm going to immediately saturate eBay with the 10,000 "BONO'S DEAD" t-shirts that I've got pugged away in my loft.
Ha, if only I was joking. I've stumbled upon a niche in the market, it's called exploiting the dead! You're all just jealous that you didn't have the creative capacity to conjure up such a diabolical scheme yourselves. Bloody amateurs.
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