A rather simple yet elegant form of arithmetic, don't you think? Einstein would be most proud. But I think it sums up rather well the state in which the music industry finds itself today. Sure, a lot of people are making money out of labeling shit as art. But how many acts can you name today that will still be as revered and loved in 20 years time? Hell, 10 years time even!
I'm mainly talking of indie bands, electronica and pop music, but even hip hop and gangsta rap has been indirectly devastated by the white man's perilous and greedy grasp. Don't get me wrong now. We can still rock out and jam just as well as our darkly-tanned equivalents (well, from time to time we can). But when it comes to making money and exploiting the weak and impressionable? There is no match! We are supreme, unchallenged and undisputed in the league of complete and utter bastardry! On the subject of music business, I'll leave you with this sentiment. There's no such thing as artistic merit when money is a priority and motive.
Now, on forth to the main and driving force behind the incarnation of this rather lovely thread. White people + music = lame! No matter how many ways you try to look at and rearrange that equation, the answer is all the same. But like any reputable and distinguished scientist, I must now go on to prove this equation and convince you all via the use of objective evidence. From here on out, I'm Dr Paul Henry Arthur Harold Seager, PhD and majoring in the laws of bollocks. Or the revealing of bollocks. Or master OF bollocks... Yeah, whatever. Either way, I'm important and know what I'm talking about.
Okay, so does anyone here have any prior knowledge behind the inception and creation of modern music? To cut a long yarn short, almost any form of contemporary genre, one way or another, can be linked and traced back to the black slaves that use to toil in the cotton and plantation fields in the southern states of america. I'm talking about the blues and gospel here baby, genres of music that were borne out of the enslavement and genocide of a race of people, yet are quite ironically rather upbeat and happy-go-lucky in nature. Jazz was soon invented via the fusion of western music tradition with blues and although the white masses embraced big band music (such as swing), they were still rather reluctant to embrace a form of music that, to them, was infinitely inferior. It was "negro music", pure and simply, and therefore wasn't good enough for their cultured ears. That all changed though when a guy from memphis by the goofy name of Elvis came along and well, you know how the story goes from here. Blues evolved into rock and pop, and rock and pop evolved into everything that you listened to now, give or take. Up until the inception of rap music that is, which once again was born from the impoverished urban black community in america. And which once again, wasn't really that big until whitey saw the potential profit margins and in-turn over-satirized the market with anything remotely "urban" in nature (I.E GENERIC SHIT). Anyone noticing a pattern here at all?
So whatever way you look at it, black people are the innovators of music. We just come along to the party for the free booze and easy women. Now I'm not trying to say that white people have never done anything of real significance when it comes to music. The Beatles, Pink Floyd, Bob Dylan, and a whole plethora of household and alternative bands and acts are a means to attest to that. For every gem of a band however, there are (precisely, I've done the mathematics) 30,000 acts of pure, unsaturated bollocks. For every Rolling Stones, there's a U2, Blink 182, Good Charlotte, Razorlite, The Killers, hell, I could sit here all day listing names of total trite. But that would be beside the point.
Greed is but a facet in the overall problem with modern music. Having the emotional vindication to actually write and talk about certain subjects is another facet in the jigsaw. I hate hearing white people preach via the medium of music. You could get away with it in the 60's, but what the fuck has a white guy got to complain about now days? We just seem to latch on to anything that's remotely depressing in order to somehow compensate for the lack of suffering and emotive destitution in us all.
The haitian crisis in recent weeks is a prime example of this self-important, patronisingly absurd act of would-be humanitarianism. They're all coming out of the woodwork for this one aren't they? Bono must have a boner of devious magnitude at the minute. A boner in which only a soppy charity single and another nobel peace prize can surely subdue.
I'm going to be real honest and down right frank here. I couldn't give a shit about Hiati. There, I said it. Now I know what you're all thinking, you've probably seen this sort of thing on a thousand blogs a thousand times before, but I'm not saying this just to sound cold and brooding. Of course there's an element of that, but I'm just being honest here. I have no reason to care, and why should anyone apart from the people it has directly effected? My house hasn't been crushed. My family and pets are still all alive and able. I'll happily donate some money for aid, that's what empathy's all about, but why do I need to receive some dopey single in return for my good deed? Is that not going against the ideal of generosity altogether? That's a trade off right there in essence, and that's exactly why most of these "artists" (I use that term severely loosely) latch on to any cause. Famine, global warming, genocide, war, ethnic cleansing, It's all PR to them, pure and simply. They probably don't even realize they're doing it. There's a motive behind everything in this world, and It makes me sick to my stomach seeing these hypocritical, self indulgent wankers all over the media trying to preach to me about charity.
Speaking of self indulgence, how incredibly wank is indie music? Now I'm not talking about independent and underground bands, I'm talking about the bands that try to use that elusive facade as a means of identity. It's not cool, it's not clever, in fact it's down right dull and the sooner this fad dies a slow and painful death, the better. The Killers, Razorlite, Radiohead, hell, most of the bands that people parade about on blogs like this basically. I can see the kind of people it caters too. University educated go-getters who think sophistication comes in the form of thicked rimmed glasses and tight denim. Well, with the greatest respect fellas, you and your beloved indie bands can all go and firmly do one. And speaking of groups of people and genres of music that I wish would go the way of the dodo, how unbelievably pompous and pathetically pussy-like is metal music now days? Emo, hardcore, nu metal, it's all white middle-class meandering bollocks. I'm sorry if I sound like I'm repeating myself with the obscenities, but I really am running out of creative ways to describe and condemn bands and genres of music. Don't get me wrong, some of these bands are at the forefront of innovation when it comes to guitar prowess, "heaviness" and rebellion-driven music (I don't care what you say, hearing the stories of norwegian death metal bands raping and pillaging villages and churches in the name of music is goddamn cool), but that still doesn't mean it's not shit! And don't even get me started on emo brand of music. Fucking degenerate pussies. I don't know about ethnic cleansing guys, but I'm all for killing people on the basis of their musical tastes!
Right, I'm going to stop ranting on like a morose tramp and wrap this bad boy up. I've been heavily generalizing here, but it's all a means to an end. I enjoy a varied group of music, even certain forms of indie music and metal music. I picked them two genres out in particular though because they are mainly white innovations and I wanted to really make a point how perplexingly lame and cringeworthy they really are. But I guess the essential sentiment behind all this is that you all suck, and my music tastes are unfathomably more superior and sophisticated than yours.
